Me too!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
