wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize