I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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