oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize