false alarm. still invincible.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
