JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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