Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Girls should come with a carfax report
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
