I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
