In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
