I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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