Pants 0. Shit 1.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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