Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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