she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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