Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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