Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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