Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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