Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Sober January is a disaster.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
