She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
