i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
