Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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