Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My ass is underappreciated
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
