Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize