I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Church boner. Awkwardddd
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
