Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
