My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
