I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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