Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
