I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
