So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
