So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
