Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
