Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
