i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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