i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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