You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
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If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
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HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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