um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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