Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
