Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
