direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
