So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
