He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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