He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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