It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
