Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
