According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
