I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
