all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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