So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
