There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it was like his penis was on wheels.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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