checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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