Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
