she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
