Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
