sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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