is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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