The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
