ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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