Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
