He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize