Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
