I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
