The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize