I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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