The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
