Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
