You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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