For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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