Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
