so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
